Today, while planting massive hydrangeas in my front garden, I've made a few decisions. Note that I do make major life decisions either in my garden or in my bathtub.
I have not been very happy lately and that's quite unusual for my manner. I do not have an awful lot of stuff not to be happy about. I have a quite simple life with no responsibility but myself and my animals.
It's my blog career that doesn't please me. This year has been crazy with book deals, TV deals and other deals I don't want to deal with.
Some people would be super excited with book and TV deals, not me I came to know. I like to be in control over everything I do and freak out when people want to mingle with that. I have a very personal blog about my home, garden and lifestyle so when other people want to turn that into something commercial it effects my whole life. I don't want a TV show that's set in my home where people will mock me, mock my life, mock everything I believe in. I don't want some publisher to tell me what to write. And I certainly do not want a TV channel to forbid me to write about political and religious views I may or may not have. If I God dammit mother Mary Christ Jesus David Cameron Loreal Chanel Dior and all of the Max Factors in the world want to mention a brand that's not one of the TV channels sponsors I get sued ... Hello, it's my blog.
So today I called the whole thing off, TV and book.
Quite weird as I have a blog already and because of the blog I got those deals, but because of those deals I have hardly time left to blog .... eh?
I walked away from all the responsibilities that chocked me right into my garden where the beautiful autumn sun was shining and planted, weeded and felt insanely happy again. My hens were sunbathing under the laurel hedge while Boo observed them.
I've learned that I'll have to stick to the things I want to do and not to those created by other people who don't write my blog or, as a matter of fact, write a blog at all. One day I might write a book or be on TV but not just now and not in the way I don't want it to be.
I want to plan fairs, festivals, write and publish my own books. Work, chat, laugh, inspire and share with bloggers and readers. I just want to be 100% me and not some commercial hoo-ha.
I celebrated my victory with a massive salad (obliviously, cake would have been much better) and a big pile of magazines.
Life is clear and good again.
Thank you so much for being here as it's you I keep this blog for xox